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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642910">The Rise &amp; Fall of the Saiyaknight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkdoc1112/pseuds/funkdoc1112'>funkdoc1112</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Ball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chadhan, Comedy, Film Noir, Gen, Grimdark, Parody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkdoc1112/pseuds/funkdoc1112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fearing that The Great Saiyaman has become more of a laughingstock than a heroic beacon of hope, Son Gohan gives his virtuous alter-ego the edge it had always been missing. Goodbye Saiyaman...hello Saiyaknight. A grimdark noir parody awaits...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Videl Satan/Son Gohan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Rise &amp; Fall of the Saiyaknight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I sat on a stool against the cold breeze of that bar like a snowman in the dead of a winter night - frozen, lifeless, doomed to fall apart against a strong enough force, and built by the people who needed and adored me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wasn't some frosty, white mound of snow wearing a hat, though. Black cape, black gloves, black tunic, black bandana, black shades, and more importantly, a soul as black as any dank night, the time where only the freaks and miscreants dwelled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That pungent haze of various alcohols and cigarette smoke wrestling against each other was more pleasant and inviting than any home-cooked meal. I'd only recently reached drinking age, but the dank brutality of the world outside of this bar left me seeking the taste of alcohol on my tongue and in my system as desperately as the grizzliest of veterans. In one hand, a bottle of bourbon, already half-empty. The other hand deftly held the cancer-granting vestige of tobacco better known as a cigar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Most called those two gems in my hand poison; I called them antidotes.</em>
</p><p>"<em>You're really going all in on this, huh?"</em></p><p>
  <em>Ahh, that voice. When she strolled in the room, the temperature flipped from freezing cold to an inferno. When I looked up at her, all of the strings of my mind focused on pulling away the sinful hands of temptation.</em>
</p><p><em>She had skin like vanilla yogurt oozing on a crimson strawberry. Pale, blue eyes as frigid and sturdy as a glacier encasing a dinosaur; maybe I could teach that dinosaur how to balance on top of a ball. But I digress. That was just the kind of incoherent typhoon of thoughts she inflicted upon my brain. The face of an angel, and the body of a </em> <em> <strong>devil</strong> </em> <em>. Even her hair was like Satan's horns, pitch-black and tied up in two pigtails - I bet she'd let me tug one in each hand during...never mind.</em></p><p>
  <em>A dame like that would make a regular man set his bottle down and throw his life away the microsecond he laid eyes on her; but not me. Not because I didn't desire her; oh no, definitely not because I didn't desire her. I may have been wearing shades, but I had two functioning eyes underneath them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You see, it was because...I already had her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she seated herself on the stool right beside me, I directed my eyes straight ahead, on the shelf holding bottles of alcohol probably older than I was. One more look at her and I might have become one of those many weak-willed patrons, and taken her right on the floor for all to see.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With my eyes off the prize, I placed the cigar in my mouth to free my hand. From my pocket, I retrieved a lighter - the key to nicotine heaven. Though its flame couldn't hold a candle to the lady on my right, it sufficed to activate the fumes of tar and tobacco. I took a drag…</em>
</p><p>And coughed and wheezed so hard, he was pretty sure his lungs were about to puke out of his mouth. <em>What do they put in these damn things?!</em></p><p>Trying and failing to maintain his stoic demeanor, the caped man in all black covered his mouth and turned away from her as he continued coughing. Loathing her laughter, he flung the cigar away from his mouth and made his best effort to sit straight, slipping back into character.</p><p>"What brings you here tonight, Miss Satan<em>?</em>" he asked in a gravely, breathy whisper.</p><p>The lady in red rolled her eyes. "Now you <em>know</em> that's not my last name. I don't even <em>have</em> a last name."</p><p>He turned his head towards her and lowered his shades an inch, exposing a sliver of his inquisitive eyes. "Is that because you have something to <em>hide</em>, madame?"</p><p>"If I did, it would probably get caught on your stubble," she said as she took a sip from the same bottle of alcohol the man in shades had bought.</p><p>Scoffing, he scratched the very same stubble on his cheeks that she mocked. "This is the mark of a man who's seen everything and been through more." He lowered his hand and turned closer to the red devil. "Though, if you want to feel these thorns poking against the skin of your face, that can be arranged."</p><p>"Uh...sure," she said with a bemused grin. "So this is how the Great Saiyaman's operating these days?"</p><p>The black figure gripped the bottle of bourbon tightly, grunting with regret. "Saiyaman's dead. He couldn't handle the ugliness of this wretched world."</p><p>"Aww, that's a shame. I'm gonna miss his dance moves."</p><p>He released the bottle from his hands and breathed a raspy sigh, sorrowfully shaking his head. "I will, too, Miss Satan. I will, too."</p><p>Spinning out of his stool, the man once known as Saiyaman let his black cape swing against the table to his left as he stood up. With his back turned to "Miss Satan", he gazed intently at the door with two shaking fists at his sides.</p><p>"But this world has moved beyond Saiyaman. It doesn't need his rose-tinted outlook on life and humanity. It was too naive; too idealistic." He brought his right fist level with his face and briefly lowered his head as if overwhelmed by guilt. Just as quickly, he shifted it back to the door.</p><p>"What this world needs...is the <em>Saiyaknight.</em>"</p><p>Unlike Saiyaman, who would conspicuously burst out of any room with virtuous bluster, the <em>Saiyaknight</em> walked lethargically towards the door. When he stopped just short of the knob, he turned his head to face his lady, and firmly nodded in salutation. He turned back around-</p><p>And swung the door open just a tad too soon, hitting himself in the face and knocking off his shades; but no matter. He bent down, placed his shades back over his face, and took off into the dead of night.</p><p>As Miss Satan, better known as Videl, shook her head and laughed, her blonde best friend, Erasa, approached her with a puzzled look in her eyes.</p><p>"Was that <em>Gohan?</em>"</p><p>"Yuuuuuuup."</p><p>
  <em>With speed only a select handful of eyesights in this world - nay, this universe - could have tracked, I leaped to the top of Satan City's highest skyscraper in less than a second. I ignored the throbbing of my temple, wrought by my sometimes tenuous grasp of my overwhelming strength.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I looked up, a pensive edge to my countenance. Before I brought ugliness to the lowest forms of humanity this city had to offer, I needed to take in the pure, untainted beauty of the world. The stars that lit up the night sky. The bright rays of the moon; it was that time of the month where it reached the end of its lunar cycle, bearing its full beauty to a night that didn't deserve it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Funny; my genetics blessed me with the unfathomable power I wield, yet at any given moment it could curse me with one of those tails again. Then that saintly beacon of light would turn me into a wretched beast worse than any criminal lurking about…</em>
</p><p><em>Aww man, I gotta write that one down. That was </em> <em> <strong>GOLD!</strong> </em> <em> Uh, I mean…</em></p><p>
  <em>Though no soul could see it beneath my shades, I closed my eyes as I took a long inhale of the city air. It was ridden with pollution, sure, but that toxicity was Satan City in its purest form; to be fit as its defender, I had to take in all of its good...and all of its bad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My sensitive ears picked something up. Loud, unscrupulous voices, yelling as if they were in the heat of an argument; or perhaps a confrontation that was about to take a turn for the worst. Somebody could be in danger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A danger that could only be handled by a loose cannon that operated by his own code of dark justice.</em>
</p><p>Gohan...or rather, the Saiyaknight, apparently, dove from the top of the skyscraper and glided to the source of the shouting match. His senses led him to an alley behind another bar; unlike the one he'd just left, it wasn't a hangout for Orange Star University students. The smell of coagulated blood coming from the walls told Gohan - the Saiyaknight, excuse me - everything he needed to know about the type of company this place attracted.</p><p>He kept his back to the wall, listening in on the heated conversation, waiting for his moment to strike.</p><p>"Alright, so is it gonna be straight cash, or what?" asked a spirited, moderately pitched voice.</p><p>"Nah, Stu, I don't carry cash on me. You got the InstaZeni app, right?" asked a second, meeker voice.</p><p>"Can't do that, dude. Too much of a paper trail."</p><p>"<em>The only trail you'll need to follow is your blood."</em></p><p>Both guys - a portly man with a couple of stuffed-up black bags and a skinny fellow shades - turned around in surprise at their third guest.</p><p>"Who the hell are you?" asked the first guy, Stu, with the bags.</p><p>"You don't need to-" The Saiyaknight had to stop himself, because his regular voice had come out. He cleared his throat so he wouldn't have any phlegm in the way of the stress he was about to put on his larynx. With a scratchier voice, he resumed. "<em>You don't need to know who I am."</em></p><p>"Well why don't ya mind ya business? I got my own business I'm tryin' to handle here, Capisce?"</p><p>Saiyaknight took a menacing step forward. "How about you stop accosting this defenseless man and pick on somebody your own size?"</p><p>The skinnier man balked with confusion, then raised a cautious hand. "Nah man, we weren't fightin' or nothin', we were just arguin' about the game tonight. And then we were, uh," he stopped himself and glanced around nervously, as if in search for an answer.</p><p>Saiyaknight raised a hand of his own, out of reassurance. "Don't cover for this scumbag. He doesn't deserve it"</p><p>"What's it to you what we're doin', buddy?" Stu accosted, reaching towards one of his bags. "Like I said, I'm conduction' <em>business</em>."</p><p>"<em>Illegal</em> business?" Saiyaknight asked, his brow raised.</p><p>"Yes, and? What're you gonna do, cuff me?"</p><p>"Cuff you?" Saiyaknight asked. His stern frown curled into a confident smirk. "No, I'm gonna <em>break</em> you."</p><p>
  <em>NAILED it!</em>
</p><p>Quickly, Stu unzipped his bag. "Well why don't ya try breakin' THIS?!"</p><p>From his bag, he retrieved a thick firearm longer than his entire body, perched it on top of his shoulder, and fired. A rocket blasted from it and hit the Saiyaknight dead-on, triggering an explosion that rocked the entire city block.</p><p>When the smoke cleared, not a trace of Saiyaknight remained...not even ashes. Not wasting any time figuring out what happened, both men took off into the streets, bailing from the scene before proper authorities arrived. As they ran, however, that same figure thought to be extinguished still loomed.</p><p>"You retard."</p><p>Just up above them, standing atop a street light, was the Saiyaknight, arms folded and his cape blowing against the frigid winds. Though he looked bold and confident, underneath his shades was a cringe.</p><p>
  <em>Yikes...four years later, that just sounds plain mean!</em>
</p><p>Leaving behind his apparent ableism, Gohan jumped from the street light to face his assailant. "Well, uh, anyway - you could've put a lot of people in danger with that little stunt of yours. Your punishment will be swift...and brutal."</p><p>"Man, screw this!"</p><p>Stu dropped his gun and ran away, but stumbled into a black, solid brick wall. Saiyaknight had reached him in a half-second, halting his feeble escape plan. He wrapped his ruthless, unforgiving hand around Stu's bulbous jaw.</p><p>"The less scum like you in this city, the better," he said through clenched teeth.</p><p>With one punch, he knocked him out. Killing was against his code; only filth like this man stooped to that. But he would teach him the error of his ways with fierce prejudice, that was for sure. While the skinnier man darted off, Saiyaknight peevishly planted his hands on his hips while he looked down at Stu's unconscious body. It was only then that he noticed the few dozen people who had raced out of the various buildings onto the street to check out the commotion.</p><p>He had been so dead set on nailing the look that he forgot about how he would bind guys down before he escaped, so the cops could handle them. He should've brought a pin, or a rope, or maybe even cooked up some formidable adhesive formula to shoot at them from his wrists. Actually, that last one might have gotten him sued.</p><p>Before he could configure a plan, the familiar sound of police sirens and their red &amp; blue lights greeted him from behind.</p><p>
  <em>Law enforcement; another thorn in the side of my pursuit for justice. They don't like me, and I don't much care for them either. But I'm more equipped to handle-</em>
</p><p>"Yo, Saiyaman! Diggin' the new look!" a jovial, blond-haired cop asked as he and a few other cops swarmed Stu's body. "Thanks for taking care of this guy. I don't know what we'd do without you."</p><p>Saiya<em>-knight</em> jumped back, taking on a defensive posture that startled the cops. "Stay back! I don't want any trouble!"</p><p>"What do you mean?" the blond cop asked. "We know you and Videl do a lot of good-"</p><p>"Though we oppose the same forces of evil, I know we're on opposite sides of the law," Saiyaknight said with a sneer whilst he crouched down. "You'll do your job...but I'll do <em>mine</em>."</p><p>The vigilante that was the Saiyaknight took off into the black skies, eluding the police officers...who were mostly just confused.</p><p>Another cop leaned towards the blond officer and shrugged. "Must be trying to win over the teenagers."</p><p>As the Saiyaknight leaped from dimly lit building to dimly lit building, his heavy mind drifted back to that day. The day that darkened his entire outlook…</p><p>
  <em>Gohan yawned as the early morning sun nearly blinded his face. He was groggily heading back to his dorm, exhausted from an all-nighter in the library spent finishing a paper. But even with his brain gradually shutting down, his ears could still pick up a commotion down the street.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Let go!"</em></p><p>"<em>Stop fighting and get in the damn car!"</em></p><p>
  <em>Gohan snuck behind an alley and found a man in all black with a ski-mask over his head dragging a black-haired boy who looked no older than 13 into a blue car. After his own uncle had essentially held him for ransom against his father, Gohan had always been sensitive to kidnappings. With an urgent glare, he clicked a button on his watch. The regular Gohan was no more, and the Great Saiyaman stood in his place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He leaped from the corner, startling both the kid and the kidnapper. "Stop right there! What do you think you're doing, criminal?!"</em>
</p><p>"<em>Punchin' my ticket to a fat paycheck, bozo!" With his other hand, the kidnapper pulled a gun from his pocket and pointed it at the Green Guardian. "So spare me your thoughts before I splatter them all over the street!"</em></p><p>
  <em>Instead of cowering, Saiyaman smiled. "Go right ahead!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Though he quizzically narrowed his eyes, the kidnapper obliged. He pulled the trigger...and lost his ability to think when the bullet bounced right off of Saiyaman's chest.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Aww shit...you're </em><em><strong>that</strong></em><em> guy, aren't you?"</em></p><p>
  <em>The triumphant Champion of Justice boastfully folded his arms. "Your presumptions are correct, my FIEND!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saiyaman warped in front of the kidnapper, chopped the hand yanking the child and smacked the gun out of his other. The assailant stumbled onto the ground out of pure fear as the Great Saiyaman's shadow loomed over him. He raised a scolding finger.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Holding a defenseless child hostage to get what you want. Didn't your parents teach you better?"</em></p><p>
  <em>He turned to face the kid...who was altogether kind of nonplussed, actually. Regardless, Saiyaman continued his well-honed routine.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Kid, I too was once a kidnapping victim!" Theatrically, he raised his fist and let it quiver. "But you no longer have anything to fear. Because watching over you…"</em></p><p>
  <em>He stood up on his right tip-toe, and then curled his right knee up. Then, he spread both hands out.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Is the answer to all living things that cry for peace!"</em></p><p>
  <em>He switched the positions of his legs, crossed his arms over his chest, and shifted to the side, looking up at the sky.</em>
</p><p>"<em>The protector of the innocent!"</em></p><p>
  <em>He planted the foot to the ground and crouched onto his knee, raising his arms into the sky.</em>
</p><p>"<em>The light in the darkness!"</em></p><p>
  <em>As he stood up, he started spinning. As he twirled around, he yelled,</em>
</p><p>"<em>Ally for good, nightmare to evil…"</em></p><p>
  <em>Finally, he stopped and crouched down with his hands pointing to his bandana.</em>
</p><p>"<em>THE GREAT SAIYA-"</em></p><p>"<em>Oh, shut up!"</em></p><p>
  <em>That didn't come from the kidnapper - that came from the kid! Gohan was so startled, he stumbled onto his face. The young teen folded his arms and scoffed with disgust.</em>
</p><p>"<em>How old do you think I am, nine? Great Saiyaman's fuckin' LAME!"</em></p><p>
  <em>Lame?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sure, Gohan had to deal with rebukes from his friends, but those guys were always stodgy and stuck in the mud. What did a bunch of grown men who spent all their free time doing martial arts know about what was cool and stylish, anyway? Sure, the Ginyu Force put him through suffering, but they were sure right about one thing: you need style! Flair! And nobody loved style and flair like the kids!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now he was losing them?!</em>
</p><p>"<em>Hey, you!" The teen shouted at the masked kidnapper who had been crippled with fear. "Get in the car! I'll go with you. Better than listening to THIS chump."</em></p><p>
  <em>Both Saiyaman and the kidnapper both had one thing in common: they were both utterly perplexed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The kid shrugged and pulled out his phone. "Just call my dad. A million bucks is like pocket change to him."</em>
</p><p>"<em>Uh, okay," the kidnapper said, taking off his mask and stumbling to the driver's seat.</em></p><p>"<em>Hey, you got a lighter?" the kid asked as he opened one of the back doors.</em></p><p>
  <em>The...not-kidnapper's eyes lit up. "Yeah...?"</em>
</p><p>"<em>Now we're talkin'!" Before he got in the backseat, the kid pulled out a bag of apparent marijuna and flipped Gohan the bird with his free hand. "Arrest THIS, Saiya-BITCH!"</em></p><p>
  <em>With boisterous laughter, the two got in the car and sped off, leaving Gohan a sullen, appalled shell. Sure, he hadn't interacted with a single person his age besides an alien until he was 17 years old, but Gohan was absolutely certain his generation of kids weren't lawless thugs like that little hellion.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was painfully clear now: Satan City just wasn't a welcome place for the Great Saiyaman anymore. Dejected, Gohan took off his shades and reverted his costume to his casual clothes. If he hadn't been unsure about the physics of Bulma's clothes watch and feared being left in his boxers, he would have shed the uniform and tossed it in the trash right then and there.</em>
</p><p>Two weeks of noir films, dark-age comic books, and necessary facial hair growth later, Gohan had his gritty reboot of the Great Saiyaman set. A great, creative hero always adapted...and it was abundantly clear that for Satan City, a darker, more brutal <em>anti</em>-hero was needed.</p><p>
  <em>After a successful night of taking down some of Satan City's worst thugs and thwarting the cops along the way, I found my way back to the alcohol and sex-infested hellhole that was my dorm building, a new man...a darker man. I snuck into my room through the back window and went to bed, a satisfied, victorious smirk on my face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Satan City had a new sheriff town...and his name was Saiyaknight.</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>I awoke the next day with a watchful eye. Whether sun up or sun down, the criminal underbelly of Satan City never truly slept. It just lurked and lurked, waiting for the proper moment to strike. News of my alter-ego's attack had surely spread through the rogue's gallery of gangs, dealers, and other depraved filth. No doubt, pictures of him were hung in walls all through the police department.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yet, I was comfortable. How couldn't I have been? I had the princess of Satan City on my side, and on occasion, in my bed. Even if the police wouldn't understand my methods, she would. And if not...then better the devil I knew, than the devil I didn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For the time being, I had to figure out how to juggle my nightmarish new life with my studies. My mother...she always wanted me to be one of the good ones. To keep my eyes off the battlefield and in a good book. Become a scholar, a doctor, a lawyer...anything that would lead to the path of an excellent, law-abiding citizen. But I find myself increasingly without the "law-abiding" part in my need to rid this city of its stench. The people were desperately calling…</em>
</p><p>"HELP!"</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, sort of like that. The people were calling out for help…</em>
</p><p>"Somebody help!"</p><p>It hadn't been a voice in Gohan's active imagination. His features taking a drastic, shadowy shift, Gohan ran into a secluded corner and clicked his watch. The Saiyaknight had been activated and ready to pursue swift and brutal justice for the woman in need. He leapt to the spot…</p><p>...And found an old woman in a purple dress reaching out to a tree with her cane. When Saiyaknight turned towards her, she waved him over. Though he dejectedly slumped his shoulders, he headed on over.</p><p>"Thank you, kind sir!" she said, though she grimaced once she got a closer look at the dark guardian. "Aren't you hot in that get-up?"</p><p>"No, it's um, fine, ma'am," Saiyaknight answered in his rasp...though now that he thought about it, he <em>was</em> sweating up a storm in that costume.</p><p>"Well, I was enjoying some fresh air with my cat and he went and climbed up a tree!" she said, pointing her cane at the leaves, where a black cat indeed clung to a branch with a defiant look in its eyes.</p><p>"If you could get it down, that would be just the greatest!"</p><p>
  <em>A black cat, in many ways a being just like myself. Dark all over, playing by its own set of rules...and a beacon of bad luck for those who cross its path. As stared into those enigmatic golden orbs whilst I floated towards it, I wondered if this was just a humble errand for one of Satan City's citizens...or an omen of horrible things to come.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I picked up the cat from its branches, feeling its black fur bristle against the black fabric of my uniform. I wondered if I had actually been doing it a disservice, removing an animal from the wild outdoors that is it's true home, not the indoor mundanity it has been domesticated to experience instead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps I, too, have been domesticated in my time away from my suit?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have no time to muse, however; no time to reflect on my reality. Because the elderly woman who requested my assistance is waiting down below. Her life on the downswing, this cat is probably the only dependable ally she has left...and as long as I don this suit, so am I.</em>
</p><p>"Here you are," Saiyaknight said, handing the cat back in the woman's grasps.</p><p>"Oh, you are just the sweetest!" the woman said, petting her cat with a bright smile.</p><p>"It's nothing, really."</p><p>"You might want to get your voice checked out, too," she said before digging into her purse. "Matter of fact, I have a spare ginger ale; it'll fix it up just right."</p><p>"That won't be necessary, ma'am," Gohan said, though he <em>was </em>a little parched, actually.</p><p>
  <em>But it wasn't a time to quench my thirst; my only thirst at the moment was for justice, anyway. As I flew away from the madame, I found myself staring the cat in its face. He was staring back at me, neither thankful nor resentful. I wondered if there was something he knew but was unable to tell me…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When I overheard a swarm of police sirens, I perhaps had gotten my answer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I tensed, assuming they were in hot pursuit of me after my extralegal, freewheeling assault of the night prior. But the fast-moving assembly line of vehicles drove clean past me, all in the same direction. Whatever could produce such an urgent response in the city of Satan wasn't a threat that any ordinary man in blue could handle. No - it was a threat that required the powerful hand of a black-clad Knight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A Saiyaknight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I took off after the cars, leaving any of the other criminal activity a mere tumbleweed as I pursued a situation that may have very well been the end of me if the cat were to be believed. With the glide of an eagle, I reached the source of terror before a single copper's car.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A restaurant. The smell of pizza hit my nostrils like a blast to an insectoid bioweapon. I took a look at the sign up above it - Felini's Pizza.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Felini, eh?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Floating to my inevitable fate, I looked through the window and found a bevy of masked men waving their guns around like a kid who can't wait to show the action figure his mom bought him over the weekend. Dozens up dozens of patrons kneeling in submission, arms above their heads, distraught pain etching their faces. A man in a chef's hat that I could only assume was the humble Felini himself was locked in an assailant's airtight grip with a black pistol pressed against his crown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A hostage situation. Fitting. Where Saiyaman died and Saiyaknight arose. And now, where Saiyaknight would become a permanent memory to Satan City.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For better, or perhaps for worse.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unlike the cautious and ill-abled police, I barged into that pizza place like a battering ram, looking straight ahead so as not to be thwarted by the adulation...and perhaps, apprehension, of the hostages.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The head honcho aimed the venom of his glare directly in my eyes; but if he thought that would deter me, he was more mistaken than an apple-colored monster.</em>
</p><p>"Hey! I don't know who you are, but if you make one wrong move, the old guy gets it!"</p><p>"Drop your weapon, or the only guy getting anything is <em>you</em>."</p><p>
  <em>I heard a snort of laughter out to my left, no doubt from one of his allies. But I didn't avert my eyesight; not even when I could hear the sirens blaring behind me, protests from by-the-book cops over my reckless vigilantism. They would soon understand the methods to my madness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since the robber refused to drop his gun, I met him at a speed faster than any mere bullet could travel and smacked the gun right out his hands. His goons sprayed rounds of bullets at me like a popcorn shower, but evidently they didn't know about my miracle Zenkai power...wait, what the hell am I even talking about?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Both shielding the innocent bystanders and dispatching the would-be robbers, I cleaned up the situation in no time. But I wasn't done; these criminals needed to understand the full extent of my power. Today would serve as a warning to all those who stood on the other side of justice. Swiftly, I marched to the ring leader and hauled him up by his collar. When I looked into his eyes, I could only see a coward, quivering in fear.</em>
</p><p>"<em>You see all that, you low-down, human filth? That's POWER," I said, thrusting my face only inches from his. "It doesn't harm the innocent, it protects them."</em></p><p>
  <em>When I let him go, I stared down at him and bore the dark shadow of my eyes onto him like the most precarious of supercell thunderstorms.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Remember the name and remember it well. I am the black cloud that watches over Satan City, hovering over every unscrupulous act thugs like you partake in. I am the harsh truth, I am-"</em></p><p>Effusive, but familiar, laughter snapped Saiyaknight out of his blusterous speech. Having been on the wrong side of it in his childhood, he could never mistake the sound of it.</p><p>"Vegeta?!"</p><p>Indeed, the flame-haired Prince of all Saiyans himself, with his 12-year old son Trunks beside him, were standing amongst the hostages and laughing so hard they clutched their ribs in genuine pain.</p><p>Dropping his hard-nosed facade entirely, Gohan raised his hands to the police with a meek smile. "Uhh, one moment, please?"</p><p>With them both in no position to thwart him, Gohan forcefully ushered Vegeta and Trunks to a back room where he was sure nobody would hear him. The two just kept on laughing, bringing Gohan's temper and embarrassment to critical mass.</p><p>"What the hell are you two doing here?"</p><p>His laughter finally dying down, Vegeta caught his breath. "Your girlfriend's idiot father needed guest instructors for his pathetic martial arts class," he began in between snorts of laughter. "Since you're busy with school, my demon wife coerced me and Trunks into it."</p><p>"Well he clearly has <em>too much </em>time on his hands!" Trunks said, firing his and his father's laughter back up.</p><p>"Okay, whatever," Gohan seethed. "But what are you guys doing here?!"</p><p>"We were just getting a bite to eat and figured we might as well play along," Trunks said. "Let it drag out 'til it got really bad so we'd have an excuse to bail!"</p><p>
  <em>Should've listened to that damn black cat.</em>
</p><p>"So this is your act now, boy?!" Vegeta cackled, looking Gohan's black costume up and down and losing more control over himself with every passing second. "How long were you looking in the mirror practicing this shit, huh?"</p><p>"Not <em>that</em>-" Gohan wisely stopped himself. "Look, this is just what the people want, okay?"</p><p>"Says who?!" Trunks wheezed. "Do yourself a favor and stick with regular Saiyaman, 'kay Gohan?"</p><p>Gohan defensively folded his arms. "But you're the one who always says Saiyaman is a dork, anyway."</p><p>"Yeah, but at least that's <em>you</em>!" Trunks tapped Vegeta on his arm. "H-Hey dad, look at this!" He twisted his face into an exaggerated scowl and raised his little fist. "I AM THE BLACK CLOUD THAT WATCHES OVER SATAN CITY!"</p><p>Vegeta doubled over screaming and spilled to the floor, poisoning Gohan's ears with his cackles; funnily enough, Gohan had probably never seen Vegeta humored over a subject that didn't involve sadism. This, however, was<em> not</em> the way he wanted to see it happen.</p><p>After a deep breath, Trunks leaned against the wall.</p><p>"Yeah, you might wanna take this one back to the drawing board, Gohan."</p><hr/><p>As had been the theme of the day, Gohan sat back and watched someone laugh in his face - this time, it was Videl. Or, <em>"Miss Satan,"</em> as a certain other would call her. In one of his hands was the black bandana of the Saiyaknight costume, lethargically spinning around.</p><p>"It wasn't <em>that</em> funny," Gohan said with a peevish frown while he sat on his bed in his dorm room. Videl sat cross-legged in the chair across from him, still giggling at his misfortune.</p><p>"Trust me, it was <em>that</em> funny."</p><p>"Well, why didn't you say anything at the bar?"</p><p>Videl shrugged. "You were just so into it, I couldn't stop you. Might as well let you sink or swim, I figured."</p><p>Gohan sighed and whimpered at his bandana. "Well, so much for Saiyaknight...and Saiya<em>man</em>, for that matter."</p><p>"Who says Saiyaman has to go anywhere?"</p><p>Tossing the bandana up and down towards the ceiling, Gohan groaned. "You weren't there when that kid laughed at me. It's like all those kids who loved Saiyaman when I first started doing it have moved on. They just look at me as some dork in a costume."</p><p>"Well, you <em>are </em>a dork."</p><p>Gohan caught the bandana and weakly tossed it at Videl's foot. "Gee, <em>thanks</em>, Videl."</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Videl hopped off of the chair and onto the edge of the bed.</p><p>"Lemme finish: you're a dork..."</p><p>She patted her hand on Gohan's shoulder and flashed him her infectious smile.</p><p>"...And that's why you're amazing."</p><p>Gohan's cheeks flushed as red as Videl's sweater. For a "Miss Satan," she sure seemed like an angel most of the time. He didn't understand why he ever even doubted the Saiyaman character when she always played along with it, anyway.</p><p>"So back to Saiyaman it is then?"</p><p>"Of course. Forget that teenager; there's a whole new generation of kids who will love the ol' Great Saiyaman, anyway."</p><p>"I guess you're right," Gohan said, picking the black bandana off the floor. "Guess I should throw away this dumb costume then, huh?"</p><p>Just as Gohan was about to fling the bandana across the room, Videl snatched his hand. "No, keep it."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>With a smirk befitting of her namesake, Videl took the bandana out of Gohan's hands and spun it around her finger. "Because when <em>Miss Satan</em> comes out and starts raising hell, it takes something <em>dark</em> to tame her."</p><p>
  <em>When she placed the bandana on top of my head and shoved me onto my pillow, I would have had to have been the stupidest man in this world and Other World to resist her clutches. Even with his ruthless brand of righteousness, not even the Saiyaknight was safe from the seductive hands of the devil…</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>FIN</strong> </em>
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